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How to manage your emotions

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Build Character

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After a week of studying, you feel confident that you'll ace your exam. But when you get your grade back, it's much lower than you expected. You’re devastated, and the disappointment is hard to shake. Should you be trying to look on the bright side? And is controlling your emotions even possible? Explore techniques to help you identify, understand, and regulate your emotions.

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Emotions can often feel like visceral reactions beyond our control. And yet, research has shown that there are ways to intervene in our own emotional responses to challenging situations. The process model of emotional regulation, pioneered by psychologist James Gross in the 1990s, details the different points at which these interventions may be used, and how these tools can help make our emotions more manageable than they otherwise would be. Studies have been conducted on the effectiveness of each strategy derived from this process model—including studies on the connection between emotional regulation and mental health.

Emotional regulation, however, is not the same as perpetual happiness. Some people fall into patterns of substance abuse for the purpose of emotional regulation, while others suppress emotion to the detriment of their physical health. Seeking "happiness" itself has also been shown to lead to a paradoxical decrease in happiness, because it creates opportunities for many unmet expectations. For more insight into the benefits of honest reflection and regulation of one's emotions, read these articles from the University of California, Berkeley—What You Think About Your Emotions Matters and How to Regulate Your Emotions Without Suppressing Them.  

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About Build Character

Character refers to ways of thinking, acting, and feeling that benefit others as well as ourselves. Character is plural—encompassing strengths of heart, mind, and will. Like social and emotional learning, the elements that make up character can be taught, learned and practiced, and we’re here to help. Explore this page to strengthen your kindness, grit, decision making, curiosity, emotional intelligence and more - brought to you by TED-Ed and Character Lab.

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